


That Scary Word (2016)

by IvanW



Series: Ivan's K/S Winter Holiday Collection [8]
Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Christmas, Cuddling, Fluff, Hanukkah, Holidays, Love, M/M, Romance, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-08
Updated: 2016-12-23
Packaged: 2018-09-07 08:46:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8791162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IvanW/pseuds/IvanW
Summary: Jim spends the holidays with a special someone.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kbeth6650](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kbeth6650/gifts).



> Gifting this to KBeth6650 because she loves Christmas stories.

It was the end of the five year mission and Jim hadn’t heard yet whether he was going to get another five year mission on the Enterprise. And if so, which of the crew would be still with him. He knew there would be changes…inevitably.

But for now, until after the first of the year, he was on leave. Which meant spending the holidays on Earth for the first time since his early academy days.

And Jim had plans. Elaborate plans. If only he could convince his best friend. Without actually telling him what those plans were.

“Come to Georgia with me.”

“Bones, I told you, I have plans.”

Bones eyed him over his coffee cup. They were seated at a little coffee shop not far from the shuttle bay. Bones would be leaving on a shuttle to Georgia shortly. And Jim…well he’d be leaving for Riverside.

“What are these plans?”

“I can’t tell you.”

“Are you making them up?”

Jim laughed. “No. I’m spending the holidays with someone very special.”

“Who?”

Jim smiled and shook his head. He lifted his eggnog latte to his lips.

“Come on, Jim. Who is she? Can’t be someone from the ship. I would have known if you were seeing someone from there. You wouldn’t know discretion if it walked up and bit you on that cute round tushy of yours.”

“I’m not saying.”

Bones sighed dramatically. “There’s still room on the shuttle. And Jo would love to see her Uncle Jim.”

Jim snorted. “Don’t start with me. And I gave you her present. A sweet little dolly.”

“Yeah, you’re too cute for words,” Bones said with a chortle. “I’m just worried you’ll spend it alone, thinking too much in your head, or worse…in a bar.”

“I’m not. Honest.”

“Well. Okay. I still am dying to know who she is.”

“I know you are. But for now it will have to remain a mystery. And you’d better get going or you’ll miss that shuttle.”

“Damn.” Bones slammed his coffee cup down and stood. “You’re right. You got the present I gave you?”

“Yep. It’s in my bag.”

“Don’t open it before Christmas.”

Jim rolled his eyes. “I know.”

Bones gave him a brief hug. “See you after. Merry Christmas, Jim. And Happy New Year.”

“Same to you, Bones.”

He waited for Bones to disappear from sight before he sent his message.

_Can’t wait to see you_.

****

Jim was unsurprised to arrive to snow but he couldn’t help but be a little bemused too. Fortunately he knew of the possibility having grown up there.

The farmhouse was empty. Had been for years now. Frank was dead and buried. And his mom resided on Deneva these days with Sam and his family. Which was weird. At one time the three of them barely spoke to each other. Sam had abandoned his family years ago. But a couple of years back his mom and Sam had reconnected and now she lived there. Even Jim’d had a few conversations with his brother. Stilted, yeah, but conversations.

Anyway, so the farmhouse was empty. 

And fucking freezing. Which would not do at all.

Jim tossed his bag into the house. He went immediately over to the thermostat and turned on the heat. Then he went back outside to drag the Christmas tree he’d bought into the house. He set it up in the living room on its stand and then filled the base with water. He’d get it decorated later but before his expected guest arrived.

He brought his bag up to the master bedroom. A room was just a room as far as Jim was concerned and he had no trouble taking the biggest and the best in the house. Once Bones had asked him if going back to the farmhouse where he’d had such a crappy childhood had bothered him. But it never had. It wasn’t the fault of the house. No. He could avoid the responsible Humans. That made sense. But the house was good.

Jim put fresh flannel sheets on the bed. He’d probably die of heatstroke but flannel it was. At least they were soft.

Then he went downstairs and back outside where he’d left the stuff he’d purchased to decorate the tree. He set the Menorah on the counter with the candles all set and then concentrated on getting the garland, lights, and ornaments on the tree.

By the time he was done, Jim had to admit it looked good and festive. Glancing at the time, he built a fire in the fireplace too.

The other shuttle wouldn’t arrive for another half an hour, so Jim made himself coffee and sat in the living room to admire the tree while he waited.

His relationship was new. So maybe that was why Bones hadn’t guessed. Of course, Jim was pretty sure he was more discreet than his friend gave him credit for. But yeah. They’d only been together for about a month. As far as he knew, no one had yet found out about them.

Jim had offered to meet the shuttle but he’d been told rather curtly that would not be necessary. He smiled. His stomach was full of butterflies which was so stupid. But God, he’d never felt this way. Not about anyone. Or anything really.

There was just the softest knock on the front door and Jim rose at once, almost running to the door like some silly teenager.

“Spock!” Jim exclaimed, throwing his arms around his snow covered first officer and very recent lover.

Spock’s arms closed around Jim and drew him close, his nose touching Jim’s cheek as he inhaled softly.

“You’re freezing!” Jim pulled out of his arms and yanked Spock inside. “And fuck, you look so sexy with snow in your hair.”

“That is illogical.” But his lips twitched.

Jim reached past him to grab his bags, of which there were about four. He laughed. “We’re only staying here like two weeks, babe.”

“There are presents for you in some of those.”

“Presents?” Jim flushed with pleasure. “Really?”

“Is that not the tradition for both Christmas and Chanukah?”

“Yeah. Yeah, it is. It’s just been…” He licked his lips. “Other than Bones, it’s been years since anyone’s given me anything.”

“Then it is certainly time to change that.” Spock removed his scarf and coat and handed them to Jim to hang up.

“Should have gotten you a beanie to keep your head warm,” Jim murmured as he went back into Spock’s arms. He kissed him thoroughly. Spock tasted of spice and mint and Christmas. Somehow. “God, I just want to eat you up.”

“Mmm. I would be in agreement. Are you baking?”

“What?” He rubbed noses with Spock. “Oh. No. That’s a fake Gingerbread smell thing. I thought it would be festive. I have the stuff to make the real stuff later if you want.”

Spock looked beyond him to the tree in the living room. “You have been busy.”

“Yeah. I just thought, well, we should do it right if we were going to do it.” He hid his face in Spock’s neck.

“Is this how you recall it from your childhood?”

“No,” Jim said quietly. “We didn’t have a tree. Frank thought they were messy and a waste of time and money.”

Spock rested his hand on Jim’s face and made Jim look at him. “Are you quite certain he is dead?”

Jim frowned. “Yeah. Why?”

“I only wish it had been at my hands.”

Jim shook his head. “I appreciate that, sweetheart. Really. But he’s not worth it.”

“Perhaps he is not,” Spock acknowledged. “But you are.”

Jim’s heart swelled with love. He closed his eyes and leaned into Spock. ”I love you.” And he knew it was the first time he’d actually said it. And he didn’t care. It was true.

Spock held him tight. “And you are everything.”

Jim finally pulled away with a smile. “I have hot cocoa with some peppermint of you’d like it.”

“Chocolate is—”

“I know.” Jim grinned.

Spock gave him a small smile. ”You do not need stimulants to get me to ravish you, ashayam. I am quite the willing participant.”

He laughed then and went right back into Spock’s arms. “Sometimes I don’t think this is real.”

“It is real.”

“Yeah.” He moved his hands to Spock’s face, framing his jaw, which was still cold from the outdoors. “It’s just that I’ve loved you for so long and you were with Uhura and I thought—”

“You have nothing to fear. I will always care greatly for Nyota, but we are only friends now.”

“Does she know about us?” Jim wondered.

Spock nodded. “It was Nyota who gave me the push to finally act upon my desires where you are concerned. But she will not say anything.”

“It’s not that I’m ashamed of us or anything like that. I know everyone will know eventually. It’s just…I like it being our secret right now.” Jim rubbed his thumb along Spock’s lip. “Is that okay?”

“Whatever you wish, Jim. I am not eager to be the subject of gossip any more than you are.”

“After the new year, I’ll tell Bones.”

“I wish to be there when you do.”

Jim laughed. “Yeah, it should be fun. I feel bad though. Is she alone?”

Spock shook his head. “Negative. She advised that she intended to spend the holidays with Mr. Scott.”

“Scotty? Yeah?”

“Indeed.” Spock then turned and looked at the Menorah.

“Oh. Right. I thought I could get that because of your mom.”

Spock, with his arm still around Jim, drew him forward to the counter with the Menorah. “I appreciate it, Jim, but my mother never lit the Menorah.”

“No? Not even when you were a kid?”

“No. My father wished for her to be fully assimilated into the Vulcan ways of life.” Spock hesitated. “I do not believe he intended to be cruel or harsh, but he thought it best for her to forgo the ways of her life as a human. He thought it would help in the transition more.”

Jim watched him. “Do you think it made her sad to miss out on some of that stuff?”

Spock swallowed. “I do not know. She never said. And yet…I never thought to ask either. It seemed illogical and unimportant. But perhaps it had been to her.”

“Maybe.” Jim gave him a soft smile.

“I would never want to do that with you,” Spock whispered.

“What, Spock?”

“Cause you to suppress that which makes you happy or is important to you.”

“Oh, baby, I know.” Jim leaned in and kissed Spock’s jaw. “You want to light the first candle?”

“Yes.”

So Jim watched as Spock very carefully lit the Menorah. He snuggled close to him.

“I love this. You and I together like this. It’s like we haven’t got a care in the world.” He laughed. “And I know we do. I probably have a thousand messages from Starfleet waiting for me. And you know what? I don’t care.”

“Neither do I.”

“Want to sit by the fire with me and look at the tree?”

“Is that tradition?”

“Hell if I know. But let’s do it anyway.”

Jim pulled Spock over to the living room, pushed him down on the sofa, and then promptly plopped down in Spock’s lap. Spock’s arms came around him.

“Like the fire?”

“The warmth is pleasing.”

“Spock?”

“Yes, Jim?”

“I’d like to do this, you know, forever.”

“I believe as active Starfleet officers they will expect us—”

“Spock.” He laughed. Shook his head. “You know what I mean.”

“I thought you found that word troublesome.”

“Well.”

“Scary is the word you used, I believe.”

“I can admit to being wrong.”

Spock tilted his head back to look at Jim. “When?”

“Plenty of times.”

“Hm.”

“Anyway, forever isn’t so scary anymore.”

“Why is that?”

“I take that back.”

Spock tilted his head back again, eyeing Jim with very somber dark eyes.

“It’s scary with everyone and everything else.”

“Is it?” Spock asked softly.

“Yeah.”

Jim sighed.

“But not with you.”

“Ashayam, it is acceptable to be afraid. As long as you do not let fear stop you.”

“Being afraid doesn’t sound very brave or anything.”

“Being brave means being afraid but doing it anyway.”

“You read that in a book.”

Spock’s lips quirked. “Perhaps. And though it is simplistic, I find that it is also true.”

Jim closed his eyes. “What about you?”

“What about me, Jim?”

“What do you think about forever? Would you want to get stuck with me for that long? I mean it’s an awfully long time.”

Spock’s fingers moved to Jim’s face. “Merry Christmas, t’hy’la.”


	2. Chapter 2

“How are things going there?” Nyota asked him.

“Quite well,” Spock replied, as he finished hanging his clothing in the closet of the bedroom Jim had chosen for them. “When I arrived it was snowing but the captain had the house suitably warm.”

Nyota chuckled. “The captain? You’re there for a romantic holiday getaway. I think it’s safe to call him Jim.”

“Perhaps,” Spock acknowledged.

“Please don’t tell me you call him captain in bed.”

Spock did not miss a beat. “Only when he wishes for me to.”

“Oh my God. You are too funny. Did you remember all his presents?”

“Of course.”

She smiled. “I’m really glad you’re having a good time.”

“And you, Nyota? How are things with Mr. Scott?”

“Pretty good. A little awkward, maybe. I mean, we’ve been seeing each other even less time than you and Jim. But I think it will get easier.”

“I am gratified to hear it. I did have concerns.”

“I’m a big girl and I’m fine, Spock. You don’t need to worry.”

“You remain of great importance to me. I will always be concerned for your well-being.”

“I know. Where is your boyfriend anyway?”

Spock found he was illogically pleased to hear Jim referred to as his ‘boyfriend’. Certainly a Human term, but pleasing nonetheless. “He was downstairs. But it has been sometime since I have heard any noise from him, which as you know is quite unusual. I will need to check on him.”

Nyota laughed. “I’ll let you go. Happy Holidays, Spock. And talk soon.”

“And the same to you, Nyota.” He almost said ‘Live long and prosper” but it did not seem in keeping with the spirit of the holiday season at present, so he did not. Their contact disconnected.

Spock wandered to the window to look outside. The snow fell lightly. He was about to turn away when he noticed that Jim was outside, bent over, grabbing at snow.

With a shake of his head, Spock went downstairs and to the side door of the farmhouse. “Jim?” he called out.

“Yeah?”

“What are you doing? It is cold out.”

“I have a coat and hat on.” Jim straightened and flashed him a grin. His cheeks were reddened from the cold, his eyes seemed neon blue they were so bright and intense. Flakes of snow dusted his lashes. He was very pleasing to look upon. “I’m building a snowman.”

“Excuse me?”

Jim grinned. “Sorry.”

“For what do you apologize?”

Jim laughed, rich and wonderful. It curled Spock’s toes. Jim did not laugh near enough. “I’m not apologizing for anything, really. I was just going to explain about a snowman. It’s something you do as a kid.”

“You are not a child.”

‘Yeah, I know that. But I thought, what the hell. It’s been years since I’ve even been in the snow let alone built one.”

“This is an activity you engaged in then?”

Jim nodded. “Sometimes yeah. When I could. Back when Sam was still around we’d build one together. At least until Frank yelled at us to get busy.” Jim shrugged. “Once Sam left, well, I didn’t get a chance to build them much.”

Spock eyed the snow Jim had piled up into misshapen balls. “I do not see a man.”

“It’s not finished yet. How’s Uhura?”

Spock shivered. “She is doing well.”

“That’s good. Listen, sweetheart, you don’t have to stay out here. Go back inside where it’s warm.”

He hesitated. It was quite cold. But Jim seemed to need assistance with whatever he was trying to make because it looked like no man Spock had ever seen. But if he was going to help, he needed to put on his coat.

So he went back into the house. He pulled on his coat and wrapped his scarf around his neck, then found gloves to fit him and put them on also. Before he returned to the outdoors, he pulled up “Snowmen” on his PADD to see what they were actually supposed to look like.

Oddly enough, they were made up of very large snowballs. Completely illogical.

Spock went back outside.

“Hey.” Jim smiled at him.

And for a moment all Spock wanted to do was pull Jim inside the house and become very well reacquainted with him. But he stopped himself. He was trying to participate in festive holiday activities as per Jim’s desire.

“I have come to assist.”

Jim smirked. “Have you?”

“I had expected snowmen to look like men, but apparently they do not.”

Jim laughed again. “Well. Sort of a child’s idea of a man, I guess. But no, they aren’t meant to have arms and legs and stuff.”

“Apparently. I found one called Frosty.”

Jim doubled over laughing then. “Oh God. I fucking love you so much.”

“While I appreciate the sentiment, what warrants the declaration now? Spock asked, scooping up snow as he’d seen Jim do.

“The fact that you researched snowmen. You are too cute.”

“It was the logical thing to do if I was to assist you.”

“Totally.” Jim grinned. “We really need to get you a beanie though. The tips of your ears are going to freeze off.”

Spock touched his ears. “Is that likely?”

“Not in weather like this, no. But if it gets colder—”

“It gets colder than this?”

“Afraid so, babe. We’ll go into town later. Get some necessities. Like a hat for you. And some food. After we finish Frosty here.”

Spock patted the snow like Jim did into the ball shape. “From my research, Frosty died a most tragic death.”

Jim’s lips twitched. “Er, yeah. Kind of. We need eyes and a mouth, too. Maybe a hat. A top hat would be best, but I don’t know if we can get anything like that.”

“Perhaps a corncob pipe as well.”

Jim suddenly flung his arms around Spock’s neck, kissing him soundly.

Spock did not hesitate to place his hands on either side of Jim’s waist. “Is it time for another love declaration?”

“Uh-huh. How’d you guess?”

“I was merely hoping,” Spock replied, covering Jim’s lips with his own. He could definitely learn to like the holiday season.


	3. Chapter 3

“Come on, Jim. Where is she?”

Jim laughed. “Forget about it.”

“I can’t. Just a little peek.”

“No way. Stop being a pain in my ass.” Jim lifted his mug of coffee to his lips with a smile. He took a sip. “You wrap my present for Jo?”

“In command gold just like you asked.”

“Sweet!”

“Jim—”

He smirked. Out of the corner of his eye, off screen, he could see Spock pulling on his coat, wrapping his scarf around his neck. Generally looking like the sexiest being in the world. Which he is, of course. And he starts to think he should tell Spock to forget about the shopping trip, that they’ll go tomorrow, and instead they can spend the rest of the day in bed feasting on each other.

“Bones.”

“Are you sure you aren’t there alone wallowing in despair?”

“I am as far from being alone as I can be. Trust me.”

“You do look…I don’t know…happy.”

“I am. And really, I have to go. Someone’s waiting for me.”

“Who?”

“I wouldn’t want to spoil your surprise, Bones. Merry Christmas.”

“Dr. McCoy does not mind his own business,” Spock said mildly from by the door.

“Pish. Tell me something I don’t know.” Jim put down his empty cup. He rose. “You have no idea how it is.” He stepped up to Spock and adjusted Spock’s scarf to cover more of Spock’s neck.

“He will not approve,” Spock said quietly.

“Huh? Who?”

“Dr. McCoy. When he learns of the change in our relationship.”

Jim touched his fingers to Spock’s cheek and Spock closed his eyes. “First of all, I don’t think that’s true. But even if it is, I don’t give a rat’s ass what anyone thinks about us.”

“I would not want to make things difficult for you, ashayam.”

“You can’t and you won’t, babe. I promise.” Jim leaned in and kissed Spock’s closed eyelids. He kept his fingertips on Spock’s face, aware that Spock found the contact very soothing. “Ready to go into town? We should go soon before it starts snowing more.”

Spock opened his eyes and nodded. 

****

“How about this one?” Jim asked, holding up a navy beanie with white snowflakes.

“That is acceptable.”

Jim tried it on Spock’s head. So far he’d tried four beanies on Spock in the store, the navy snowflake one, a plain black one, one with a plaid pattern, and a red one with reindeer. All had been “acceptable”.

“Too snug, too loose or just right?” He prodded.

“Acceptable.” 

Jim twisted his lips. “Hmm. Keep looking?”

“Jim, I do not understand. I have said acceptable for the four you have shown me yet you continue to browse. What has been wrong with the others?”

Jim shrugged. “You lack enthusiasm.”

“They are serviceable hats with which to keep my head and ears warm. Is that not their only purpose?”

“Well. Sort of. They can also look really cute. Which all of them do.”

Spock arched a brow or otherwise basically said, ‘my illogical human boyfriend’.

“Fine we’ll get all four. They’re part of your Christmas gift.”

“I do not need Christmas gifts.”

“No one needs them, Spock. That’s not the point.” Jim pursed his lips. “Another coat? More gloves?”

“Just the hats will be enough.”

Jim smiled. “Sometimes your practicality is no fun.”

They went to the cashier in the store and Jim paid for the hats.

“Now we need to make a quick stop at the grocery store for food. Is there anything specific you’d like?”

“Whatever you choose is—”

“Acceptable. Yeah, I know.” Jim laughed. “Not true though. If I were to pick nothing but meat, you’d find it most unacceptable.”

“I am well aware you are too considerate to do that. Indeed, you rarely think of yourself, preferring to put others needs before yours.”

Jim flushed and looked away. “Um. Anyway. Let’s go.”

In the end, they spent over an hour at the store and Jim admitted he probably went a little crazy with all the special holiday food. He was a sucker for advertisements. Too many Christmas Spice this and Candy Cane that. But Spock was indulgent and let him get whatever he wanted.

The snow had begun to fall again, though fortunately it wasn’t a blizzard or anything. Yet. But as they approached the door to the farmhouse, Jim bent down and scooped up a handful of snow.

“Think fast, Spock.”

Spock just stared at him blankly as a snowball pelted him in the chest. “I always think fast.”

Jim laughed. “Spock! You were supposed to duck.”

“I do not get it.”

Jim walked up and brushed the snow off Spock. “It’s okay, babe. Just more illogical human stuff.”

Spock sort of tilted his head in a way that was vaguely reminiscent of a dog. Jim’s smile widened as he let them into the farmhouse and headed for the kitchen. They both set the bags down on the counter.

“God, now I don’t even want to put all this shit away, but I guess we have to.”

Spock drew Jim into his arms. “It can wait a moment or two.”

Jim licked his lips. “What did you have in mind? Going upstairs? Because as much as I’d like to, some of this crap is perishable.”

“Hmm. There are other ways.”

Jim frowned a little “Yeah?”

Spock spread the fingers of his right hand over Jim’s cheek.

Suddenly Jim’s whole body shook and he became instantly hard.

“Fuck,” he gasped, helplessly thrusting against Spock for relief. And it came fast. Or he did. He shuttered and cried out against Spock’s shoulder as he emptied into his own pants. Squick. “Holy Fuck. What was that?”

Spock’s hand slipped from Jim’s face. “I told you I think fast.”

“Well, Jesus. That’s an admirable skill.” Jim sagged against him, his eyes closed. “As soon-soon as I recover-I’ll-I’ll—”

Spock kissed his forehead. “We have plenty of time. And my experience with mind orgasms is that the recovery period can be hours.”

Jim pulled back enough to narrow his eyes at Spock. “I don’t think I want to know about your experience with mind orgasms.”

“Likely not,” Spock acknowledged.

He leaned into Spock once more. “My pants feel icky.”

“We will see that you have changed when you can move again.”

“God, you’re smug.”

“Am I?”

“You so are. And I can’t blame you. You should be. And I gotta tell you a smug Spock is really fucking sexy.”

“You do have a one-track mind at times.”

Jim heard the amusement in Spock’s voice and had to smile. “Maybe. I mean you just made me come like some stupid, eager teenager. And yet…here I am wanting you again.”

“Mm. The contents of the packages must be put away.”

“Yeah.” Jim sighed. “Any time you want to give me one of those mind things—”

Spock’s hand came up to his face again and Jim’s cock sprung up like he hadn’t just creamed his pants moments before.

“Spock,” he groaned, shooting again. He panted against Spock. “I-I thought you said hours.”

“Usually.”

Jim laughed breathlessly. “Smug Vulcan.”

“If you would like, I will put everything away while you clean up and change. You have time for a shower.”

Jim nodded. “When I can walk again.”

“Do I need to carry you?”

He chuckled. “You wish.”

Spock tilted Jim’s head back and kissed him softly. “If I had my wish, your feet would never touch the ground.”

Jim closed his eyes and kissed Spock back. Then he pulled away. “Shower. Change. Okay.”

He stepped away and headed for the stairs, stumbling just a little. He glanced at Spock. His lips were curled upward.

Damn, he really was smug. Jim just laughed again and got himself upstairs.

Merry Christmas to him.


	4. Chapter 4

It seemed as though Jim was missing for a long time. Spock had put away all their purchases and had made himself some tea. Jim had insisted on purchasing something called Christmas Tea and Spock had to admit he liked the taste. He was half way through his second cup and Jim had still not come back down the stairs.

Spock did not wish to be intrusive. Their relationship was still quite new and Jim was, frankly, quite prickly. Spock was not of the opinion that any mistake he made would cause Jim to pull back from him, but neither did he desire to push his luck.

With a shake of his head, he set his tea down on the counter and headed up the stairs to the room they were sharing for the duration of their stay. His steps faltered as he caught sight of Jim, dressed in blue jeans and a flannel shirt, sitting on the edge of the bed, hands over his face, shoulders shaking.

“Jim?”

Jim dropped the hands from his face and looked up at Spock. There were tear streaks running down his cheeks and his eyes were wet. “Oh. Hi. Was I too long?”

“Never mind that.” Spock sat beside him and turned Jim to face him. “What is wrong? Have I done something?”

Jim smiled through his tears. “No, no. It’s not you.”

“Then what? Help me to understand.”

“You won’t.”

“Try me. Please.” Spock reached for Jim’s hands and held them in his. “I will do whatever you need.”

Jim blew out a breath. It stuttered coming out. “I just…I got overwhelmed for a minute.”

“Overwhelmed?”

“Just…everything is so good. It’s like perfect, you know. I’ve loved you for so long and now you love me, and we’re here together, and it just…it was too much.” Jim laughed. It was better than the tears but no less confusing. “I told you that you wouldn’t understand.”

“Are you unhappy?”

“No. In fact, the opposite. I’m happy.”

“Yet, you were crying.”

“Sometimes humans…well…their emotions get the better of them. Or mine do anyway. I’ve been unhappy for so long, to be happy like this, it’s kind of weird.”

“I do not like to see you cry,” Spock said softly.

“You weren’t supposed to. I planned on getting it together before I went back downstairs, but I guess I just didn’t realize how long I was taking. I’m sorry.”

Spock lifted one of his hands to Jim’s face. “May I?”

Jim nodded.

He fanned his fingers across Jim’s face, his thumb brushing off one of the last remaining tears. “You are so beautiful.”

Jim laughed. “Especially with my face all red from crying.”

“It does not detract from your beauty.”

“Spock.”

“You have always taken my breath away, Jim. Even before we were together I recognized your physical beauty. But it is here, in your mind,” Spock put his hand on Jim’s heart, “and here in your heart that your true beauty lies.”

“Who knew you had such terrible taste,” Jim joked.

“Jim.”

“I know. I love you.”

“I love you. I just wish that you understood your worth. You are everything to me.” He kissed Jim softly.

“Are you ready to go back downstairs?” Jim asked when Spock allowed him to breathe again.

“One moment.” He did the barest of surface melds, Jim let him in easily. It was all that they had done so far between them, really. And there was no indication that Jim was being anything but honest with him.

“Did you see what you needed to?” Jim asked with a slight smile.

“Indeed,” he murmured. He stood up and pulled Jim to his feet with him.

When they got downstairs, Jim said, “Let’s have those potato latkes.”

“A good choice.”

“Oh and I memorized something to do with Chanukah.”

“What is that?” Spock asked with a raised brow.

Jim went over to the Menorah.

“Chanukah is known as the Festival of Lights because its central ritual is the lighting of the menorah for eight consecutive nights. Chanukah is to celebrate the inspirational story of the unlikely Maccabean victory over their Syrian-Greek oppressors who attempted to obliterate the Jewish faith and convert the Jews to Hellenism in 165 B.C.E.

It is said of the miracle that it occurred when Judah the Maccabee ordered the Temple to be cleansed and purified. There was only enough oil found in the Temple to light the ceremonial menorah for one day, yet it burned for eight days. An eight-day festival was declared by the Jewish sages to commemorate this miracle.

When you gather around the menorah with friends and family to rejoice in the miracle of Chanukah, it is also celebrating the survival of the Jewish people against all odds. Although each generation interprets the victory of the Jewish spirit in light of contemporary challenges, the same three blessings over the Chanukah candles have remained unchanged for thousands of years and are recited by Jews all over the world when lighting the menorah.

This blessing is only recited on the first night.

Ba-ruch A-tah Ado-nai E-lo-he-nu Me-lech Ha-olam she-heche-ya-nu ve-ki-yi-ma-nu ve-higi-a-nu liz-man ha-zeh.

Then there is also,

Ba-ruch A-tah Ado-nai E-lo-he-nu Me-lech ha-olam a-sher ki-de-sha-nu be-mitz-vo-tav ve-tzi-va-nu le-had-lik ner Cha-nu-kah.

And

Ba-ruch A-tah Ado-nai E-lo-he-nu Me-lech Ha-olam she-a-sa ni-sim la-avo-te-nu ba-ya-mim ha-hem bi-zman ha-zeh.”

Spock tilted his head. “I believe you know more about Chanukah and the Jewish religion than I myself do. And your pronunciations are remarkable.”

Jim grinned. “You aren’t the only one who can do research.”

“That you put so much thought into this, it is a wondrous thing. But you did not have to.”

“I know. It’s just, since we’re doing Christmas, we should do Chanukah, too. We may never get the chance to do anything like this again, just the two of us.”

Spock pulled him close. “Whatever our circumstances, I will always make time for you.”

“Yeah, me too.” Jim kissed him, eyes closed. Then he pulled away, smiling bright. “Latkes. And Gingerbread. Or sugar cookies. We could decorate them. Which?”

“How about both?”

Jim laughed. “God, if Bones could see me now he’d think I’d lost my ever-loving mind.”

“Indeed that sounds like something the doctor would say.”

Jim glanced toward the window. “Oh, look. Now it’s really snowing.”

Spock did look. And what he saw made him feel cold just by the sight of it. “Is that a blizzard?”

Jim shook his head. “Oh, babe. No. Not yet. Although the temperature does say it’s only nine degrees. Bet you’re glad you have a nice hot boyfriend.”

Spock nodded. “In more ways than one.”

Jim winked. “You bet.”

Spock eyed the snow falling from the safety of the kitchen window. “Are you sure that’s not a blizzard?”

“Could get that way eventually. But so what? We’re all snug and cozy here. I promise, I’ll keep you warm.”

Spock grabbed Jim’s hand and tugged him close. With Jim by his side, he did indeed feel like he would never be cold again.


	5. Chapter 5

“Bundle up.”

Spock blinked at him as though he’d said “the Klingons are here.”

Jim grinned. “We’re going out, babe.”

“It is snowing.”

“I know. Has been all day.” He grabbed Spock’s coat and handed it to him.

“It is night.”

“It sure is.”

Spock put the coat on. He really was good at following orders, Jim thought. Except in the bedroom. And he’d better stop thinking about that right now. Later, when they returned home, Spock could have free reign to boss Jim around to his heart’s content.

“If it is snowing and night, why are we going out? It is not to have dinner, as we have had it.”

“We’re going out to look at holiday lights, Spock.”

“Holiday lights?”

“Yeah. People decorate their houses and yards and stuff and it’s pretty. And fun.” Jim winked. “And pretty fun.”

Spock tilted his head. Jim walked over and put Spock’s beanie on, the one with the reindeer, and pulled it down over his pointy ears.

“There are no houses nearby,” Spock pointed out.

“We’re going to take the hover car,” Jim explained. “There’s a neighborhood in the area people refer to as Candy Cane Lane. We can walk it once we get there.” He wrapped a scarf around his clearly dubious Vulcan.

“This is a thing Humans do?”

“Afraid so, babe. Don’t worry. I’ll do my best to get you hot when we return. Put your snow boots on.”

Spock made a face, but hid it quickly. Jim pretended he didn’t see it, because Spock was going. He slipped his arm into Spock’s when Spock was completely bundled and led him from the house toward the barn where the hover car waited.

“It is cold,” Spock said, his breath puffing out.

“Pretty cold, yeah.”

“I hope that we will not be stranded.”

Jim laughed. “We won’t be, sweetheart. I promise. Get into the car.”

Jim shook his head when Spock got into the passenger seat, extremely reluctantly. He really was too cute for words. Jim got in and started up the computer. He pressed the button for heat. Sure, he’d roast, but Spock would be happy.

“This is an odd tradition,” Spock commented, but he had already begun to relax in the warmth as Jim pulled out of the barn. “How did it start?”

“Huh? Well. Hell if I know. I’m no expert on Terran holiday traditions, Spock.”

“You know all about Chanukah.”

“Because I researched it for you.” Jim laughed. “Trust me. I don’t know any of this stuff. I just know people do it, so I thought we should.”

“I do trust you,” Spock said, because he was often quite literal. “But I do question the point of doing activities based on their allure to unknown entities.”

“Fun, Spock. It’s supposed to be fun.”

“Very well.”

“Take us to Candy Cane Lane,” Jim told the computer.

“Working,” she said.

Jim reached over and squeezed Spock’s leg. “Warm enough?”

“Yes.”

“Hey look!” Jim pointed out several houses they passed as the hover car moved along to their destination. They were all decked out in greenery and bright colorful lights. Some had reindeer, santas, and snowmen displayed.

 Spock looked at each one but made no comment.

“Want to sing?”

“Sing, Captain?”

Jim knew he was in trouble when Spock slipped back to ‘captain’.

“Yeah, like Christmas carols. Or we could sing Chanukah songs. There’s a few of those. Or we could sing the Dominick the Donkey song. Hey! Chingedy ching,(hee-haw, hee-haw) It's Dominick the donkey.”

Spock stared at him. “No. We cannot.”

Jim laughed. “God, you are just too cute for words.”

“Arrived at Candy Cane Lane.”

“Oh, cool. Here we are.” Jim frowned. He could see several brightly lit streets that were almost neon they were so lit, but he could also see a lot of people. Huge crowds. Spock would not be pleased. He glanced at Spock, whose lips had thinned. “So, um. We’ll park her here and walk around.”

“Very well.”

Jim couldn’t deny Spock was attempting to be a good sport about it anyway. When they got out of the hover car and he locked it, he linked arms with Spock and dragged him into the neighborhood.

Snow fell lightly, dusting the top of Spock’s beanie. A few flakes rested on Spock’s eyelashes, too. Jim couldn’t wait to get him home. After the lights of course.

They managed to sidestep boisterous children as they passed house after house. They really were pretty. And even Spock began to comment on some of them. He even pointed out to Jim a house that had huge lit Menorah taking up half their yard.

Jim turned to take Spock to the next street when a shriek stopped them both in their tracks.

“Jimmy! Jimmy Kirk!”

A woman came running toward him, her arms outstretched. Jim took a step back, but she just came on rushing toward him.

Until…

Spock placed himself directly in front of him.

The woman stopped just before crashing into Spock. Her eyes were wide. “Oh. Um. Hello.”

“Good evening.”

“Arabella,” Jim greeted her, finally recognizing the brunette beautiful woman.

“It is you!” Arabella exclaimed. “I thought it was.”

“Yeah. Nice to see you. This is my fir—”

“Boyfriend,” Spock said coolly. “My name is Spock.”

“Oh.” She turned a little pink. “Nice to meet you. Jimmy and I go way back. We used to…be friends.” She attempted to step around Spock to give Jim a hug but Spock shifted ever so slightly until he was in her way again. “Well. I’d better get back to my family. I’m here with my husband and two kids.”

“Congratulations,” Jim murmured. When she had gone, he glared at Spock. “Was that really necessary?”

“No.”

Jim sighed. “She was an old—”

“Yes, I gathered that.” Spock reached for Jim’s arm. “Shall we continue?”

“You’re definitely the possessive type.”

“I am attempting to reform.”

Jim chuckled. “Don’t you dare. Oh, hey, look. That man’s selling hot chocolate.”

“I cannot have any.”

“But I can!” Jim tugged Spock over to the man.

“With or without peppermint schnapps?” the man asked.

“With.” Jim ignored the reproving look Spock threw his way. The man made his hot chocolate and Jim handed him credits. As they stepped away, Jim took a sip. “Woo eeee. That’s a lot of booze.”

“I can see I will have to operate the hover car.”

“I can put it on autopilot again.”

“I would prefer to have control. I would like us to get back in one piece.”

Jim took another large sip. “Whatever you say, babe. Come on!”

****

“Let’s do it, right here.”

He was straddling Spock in the hover car, which was currently parked in the barn. Spock’s hands had found their way inside his coat and shirt to spread out over his bare skin.

“You are intoxicated.”

“Okay. Maybe. I shouldn’t have gone back for a second one of those hot chocolates.”

“Or the third.”

Jim licked his lips. “Uh. Yeah. They packed a wallop.”

“Apparently. However, as tempting as it may be to ‘do it’ in the hover car in the freezing cold barn, I will have to pass.”

Jim stuck out his bottom lip. “Spoilsport.”

“Indeed.”

Jim smiled and started closing his eyes.

“Jim.” Spock shook him.

“What?”

“You are falling asleep.”

“If we’re not gonna do it, then I may as well.”

“Not in the barn. We will enter the house and sleep in our bed.”

“Okay.” Jim sort of fell forward and leaned into Spock. “Carry me?”

“Very well.”

“That’s really hot by the way.”

“To what do you refer?”

“That sexy way you say, ‘very well’. It’s all snooty and it just makes me hard.”

“You are illogical.”

The hover car door opened and Spock extracted them from it. Jim felt the ground move and then disappear altogether.

“Have you got me?”

“Yes, ashayam.”

“Will you marry me?”

“Yes, ashayam.”

The door to the farmhouse opened as if by magic.

“Not by magic, Jim. I opened it.”

“Oh. Did I say that out loud?”

“You did.”

“Wait, did you say you would marry me?”

“Of course.”

Jim found himself laid out on the bed. Spock was speedy. And he was now removing all of Jim’s outdoor wear. “When?”

“When what?”

“When will you marry me?”

“Whenever you wish.”

Now Spock was onto Jim’s pants.

“Tomorrow.”

“Is that not Christmas Eve?”

“Uh-huh. We could go into town in the morning and be done in a jiffy.”

Spock did not reply.

Jim stared at the ceiling.

“Too soon?”

“No. I am amenable to the sort of marriage you refer to.”

“You want to bond too.”

“Yes. That is my desire.”

“I want that too then.”

“We will discuss the logistics after our leave.”

“Bones is gonna blow a gasket.” Jim grinned.

“Will he?”

“Yeah, because I’m gonna comm him tomorrow and introduce my new husband.” Jim laughed.

“Jim.”

“Oh, come on.”

“Very well.”

Jim grabbed Spock’s sweater. “Come here.” He yanked him down on the bed to join him.


	6. Chapter 6

“Are you sure about this, Jim?”

“Yes. Very. Now go on. Get off screen before he sees you.” Jim shooed away Spock as he sat on his couch right next to the Christmas tree and the roaring fireplace. No doubt he looked picture perfect. Or just like he stepped out of one of those old corny holiday movies.

Bones' cranky face suddenly appeared which already had Jim laughing.

“What do you want?”

“To wish you Merry Christmas, of course. How’s my little princess?”

Bones brightened at that. “She went shopping with her granny. She’ll be back soon.”

“Are you ready for Santa?”

“I’m a little old for Santa, Jim.”

Jim grinned. “Are you sure? I think he might have a present for you.”

Bones rolled his eyes. “What are you doing? Tree looks nice.”

“Thanks. It’s snowing like a bitch now. Wasn’t so bad this morning when we went out, but now it’s getting pretty heavy. Cold too.”

“We, huh?” Bones smirked.

“Yep.”

“She there?”

“Somebody is that’s for sure.” Jim held out his hand and wiggled it in front of the screen.

Bones’ eyes narrowed. “What the hell is that?”

“What do you think it is?”

“Don’t be coy with me, Kirk,” Bones said with a definite grimace. “Is that a damn ring?”

“It is.”

“Tell me you did  _not_  get married.”

Jim winked at Spock who rolled his eyes. “I did get married.”

“Of all that foolhardy stunts you’ve pulled—” Bones groaned, burying his face in his hands. “You’ve only known this woman a few weeks, Jim. I haven’t even met her!”

“Bones.”

“You didn’t get her pregnant, did you?”

“Bones.”

“Because I swear to God. How do you go from being a commitment-phobe to getting married in a few weeks to some strange woman that—”

“Bones.” Jim held out his hand for Spock.

Spock came to sit beside Jim.

Bones stopped in his rant. “What’s Spock doing there? Did he come to take you into custody?”

Jim laughed. “Custody for what?”

“You’ve clearly lost your ever-loving mind.”

Jim doubled over and leaned on Spock. “Oh, my God.”

“Jim?”

“I told Spock you’d say that. And you did. Priceless.”

“Jim—”

“Spock, just do it.”

Spock quirked a brow. He lifted up his hand to show Bones.

“Well, what—”

Jim put his hand next to Spock’s.

Bones fell off screen.

“Bones? Bones?” Jim stood and got closer to his PADD. “Bones?”

“I believe the doctor has fainted.”

****

Jim stood in front of the fire, Spock’s arms wrapped around his waist, both of them snuggled into the incredibly soft throw Jim had given Spock as one of his presents.

“Part of me never wants to leave here.”

“You could never be content to be this far from the stars for long.”

“Yeah. It’s just…the two of us here. It feels almost like home.”

“Maybe one day when we are old and retired we can settle here,” Spock said softly.

“That’s a nice thought. Mostly the growing old together.” Jim was aware that Vulcans lived much longer than humans, but this was not the time for thoughts like that.

“Indeed. If we return to the Enterprise, we will need bigger quarters.”

Jim nodded. “Didn’t I tell you? I got word from Starfleet.”

“And?”

“We’re getting the Enterprise again.” Jim smiled, leaning back into his husband.  “They say congratulations by the way.”

“Then they know of our new status?”

“Yep. Hardly raised a brow. They know we make a good team. The best.”

“And do we know who returns with us?”

Jim shook his head. “Not yet. Before the New Year though. Want to light the Menorah?”

“In a little while. I am content to stand here with you.”

“Me too.” Jim sighed happily when Spock nuzzled his neck. “It’s really not scary at all, is it?”

“What, Jim?”

“Forever.”

Spock’s lips touched his lips to Jim’s ear. “Indeed it is not. Not with you.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This ones done too now. Thanks!


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